An incomplete cookie cutter set can keep me awake most nights. Here's the turkey. The problem was that the set was missing the rabbit. Search by Keyword. Bungles Good job Santa has his sleigh to get around, what with those deformed feet and all. When you buy anything from eBay, you need to clean it really well. T2P
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I grabbed a set of Tupperware cookie cutters when we moved my mom out of the family home a number of years ago.
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I grabbed a set of Tupperware cookie cutters when we moved my mom out of the family home a number of years ago. She kept them in an old Ziploc bag. I don't recall ever getting a cookie for my birthday. Not that anyone remembered. The problem was that the set was missing the rabbit.
And this bugged me. For years. An incomplete cookie cutter set can keep me awake most nights. So imagine my joy when, while canvassing a church rummage sale a few weeks ago, I spotted the rabbit in a basket of assorted cookie cutters! Best of all? It was only a quarter. Or Santa cookies at Christmas? Life is too short to sit around waiting for the holidays to show up.
So I whipped up some gingerbread dough and made the entire set. Later, I found out some distressing news. I was still missing two cutters from the set: a turkey and a pig. So I went on eBay and found someone who was selling the turkey, the pig and, ironically, the rabbit. The cutters arrived the other day. The first thing I did was clean them. When you buy anything from eBay, you need to clean it really well. I assume that people urinate on everything before mailing it. Get into those crevices with a toothbrush.
Use bleach, Lysol, sodium hydroxide, whatever. Just clean that pee up. Once my cutters were good and clean, I made cookies with them. As I rolled out the dough, I wondered about the pig. Specifically, why was there a pig in a seasonal cookie cutter set? On what holiday would you give someone a pig cookie?
Have I been offending people by not wishing them a Happy Hog Day all these years? There was something else: the pig seemed gay. Like, really gay. His one arm or is it a hoof? Who, by the way, waddles around wearing no pants. Brian Francis is the author of the novels Natural Order and Fruit. Creative writing tips, advice for writers and personal essays. Brian Francis. My mom's Tupperware cookie set. Like new.
Because they were never used. The holy grail. And only 25 cents. Sometimes rolled-out dough can resemble continents. This one looked like Cuba to me. And here are the cookies. That bowl cut will never get him laid. The saddest star to ever sit atop a Christmas tree. I never received one of these as a kid. This cookie smelled like Halloween Kisses. Good job Santa has his sleigh to get around, what with those deformed feet and all.
Last, but not least. Make sure you wash your toothbrush really good before putting it back in the bathroom. Happy Hog Day, y'all! Here's the turkey. I gobbled it up. I ate too many cookies. Now I feel like a pig.